In February 2024, my family faced the challenging decision to move my then 90-year-old grandmother, affectionately known as ‘Ma-Ma,’ into long-term care. Despite my background in senior living and our family’s encouragement and support, the transition proved to be one of the most difficult I had ever encountered. I knew all the right things to say, but it was never enough.
I told her my favorite stories of residents becoming best friends, adventures, and outings she would go on, but she stuck to her guns. This wasn’t her house. This wasn’t her home.
After an adverse year of health challenges, hospital stays, and a few stints in rehab, she finally decided that in comparison, this WAS her home…and she was glad to be back. We celebrated her 90th birthday belatedly with a sunset dinner cruise on Lake Murray, during which she didn’t miss the chance to brazenly urge my fiancé Josh to “make a plan already.” Otherwise, it was the occasional snarky remark like, “Guess you’re not in a hurry, huh?”
We searched for venues to no avail, but inspiration struck during one of our weekly ‘Ma-Ma Monday’ dinner dates. I came up with what I thought was the perfect idea. I asked her if we could do a civil ceremony with just her. She was both Josh and my only remaining grandparent, and we felt it important to do something unique and intimate with her. She quickly refused and boldly claimed she would wait for the ‘real party.’
We continued looking but never found a place that felt right. I rethought my first rejected offer, and Josh and I decided to tweak it ever so slightly by inviting a few more guests. One day before heading up to see Ma-Ma, I stopped by the manager of her assisted living community’s office with an unusual request: to host our wedding in the courtyard just beneath her second-floor apartment.
I explained how I got into senior living and developed a genuine passion for the health and wellbeing of the aging population and those who care for them. It’s where I found my purpose six years ago, and one that still drives my career today. My mom was an LPN at this very community where I grew up volunteering and doing activities with residents. We chatted for a little while and I finally blurted it out. “Have you ever had a wedding in the courtyard?”
I told her my spontaneous idea and hoped that when my grandmother looked down at that courtyard every day, she would smile and think of when her granddaughter married the love of her life. It would make her community feel even more like home. Next, I begrudgingly asked the manager if we could do it in just nine days…on Valentine’s Day.
Luckily, I got the call a few days later, and it was a GO! The community was just as excited as we were. We secretly scheduled a hair appointment for the wedding day, but Ma-Ma didn’t find out it was happening until the day before. I stopped to visit and serendipitously she was writing out her Valentine’s Day cards. I casually told her, “You don’t have to worry about mailing mine, I’m going to see you tomorrow…Josh and I are getting married in your courtyard!”
On February 14, 2025, surrounded by our immediate family and Ma-Ma's community of caregivers and fellow residents, Josh and I exchanged vows in the sun-drenched courtyard of Bishop Gadsden Episcopal Retirement Community. We even had our beloved golden retriever, Ranger, which made it even more special.
As my husband and I exchanged vows, I could see nursing staff and residents watching from the windows surrounding the courtyard. It was perfect in every way. While I wanted the wedding to be an extraordinary moment for my grandmother, our families, and my new spouse, it needed to be special for her community too.
Our unconventional wedding became a celebration not just of our love, but of the entire senior living community that has embraced Ma-Ma. It was a joyous day we got to share with the caregivers, dining staff, housekeepers, therapists, and residents who have become integral to her life. We are so grateful to Sarah Tipton, Elizabeth Hamilton, and the loving team at Bishop Gadsden, which wraps its arms around my grandmother and Charleston seniors each and every day.
As someone who instantly fell in love with senior living years ago, it felt natural to celebrate our union in a community and industry that holds such a special place in my heart. Our Valentine's Day wedding not only marked the beginning of my life as Mrs. Allison Steele, but I knew it would be the best topic of gossip and conversation for the ladies’ breakfast group the following day.
To my dearest Elaine Jane, thank you for loving deeply, persevering through tough times, and most of all…for always being up for a party!
-Allison Bonner Steele
